Things My Exes Taught Me

The girl I thought I would marry got tired of me not being who she wanted to be. I refused to be who she wanted me to be. I had known her since elementary school and am still very cool with her sister. She loved my mom and mom often asked about her until I told my mom I didn't keep up with her. Once I stop messing with someone, there is no effort to be "friends" with them. I didn't chase her contrary to what she thought. We chose each other. At a time in my life when I wanted money and my aspirations, she chose to leave me alone. I left it alone and never talked to her again because she refused to communicate with me. I have not spoken to her since because there was no point in it but shout lout to her cool-ass sister, my drinking buddy. My last SERIOUS girlfriend knew where I stood and went out of her way to see me. She lived thirty minutes away and would drive to my place or meet me to see me. Before we got serious I took a trip out of town. She asked me if I had met anyone out of town and if I got some out of town. In my self-depricating humor I told her nobody even looked at me. She told me I was full of shit and I told her about this girl from Atlanta I met at Sobe Live. She constantly joked with me about it, joined me out of town and met the majority of my friends. Our relationship worked because she was open with me right until the end. She called me a cheap-ass Negro for having my lights off all the time in my place. The point was that she told me what was on her mind and I respected her for it. We broke up because her daughter was hitting puberty hard and she couldn't balance her family and our relationship. I respected that. Before and after her I met someone that was a selfish Type-A personality that wanted girlfriend treatment without girlfriend responsibilities on her end. We took a long break and she reached out to me at a crucial time in my life. I wasn't available to her like I had been before so she met somebody else. She reached out to me again when she saw me out but I was cool on her. These different women taught me about myself. I was with them at different stages of my life and have helped shape my views on relationships now. They taught me that I cannot be with someone that is emotionally inequipped to be open with me about what's on her mind. I prefer someone that will let me know what she thinks good, bad or indifferent. Someone that can't be open with me no matter how much mutual caring is there, will not work for me. If she can't handle business for myself or my family if I really needed her to, it will mot work for me. If she turns to Facebook or Twitter to talk about me instead of talking to me, it will not work for me. If she is waiting on me to do something and I'm unaware of what she wants because she doesn't ask me a direct question, well...it won't work for me. I had someone else I really loved that was willing to move across the country for me. I messed it up because I was honest and told her there was someone else in the picture because she was away. She and I weren't monogamous so I had carte blanche to do what I wanted. She had someone else too but I was the asshole because she "never expected me to do that". I learned not to cheat from her and to be with someone I wouldn't want to cheat on. I learned to be a good guy that wants to be happy with a woman that loves me but is honest with me and open to communication. I've learned what I want out of a relationship and not to compromise that. I learned what I want that would make me happy. My exes taught me what I needed so I can realize what I want from a woman in a monogamous relationship. I've been told my standards are high for a girlfriend. Girlfriends are cool but a a grown woman that carries herself and can meet me in a 100% commitment is my preference. Peace - Moolah