What Is Support

Shoutout to everybody I rock with musically. Two years ago my cohort Zone Caleone and I embarked on a trip to Memphis to show out for a major label. We did our thing. Suffice to say neither of us are signed to a major record label though we've had bad contracts offered to us in our careers. A lot of my friends and associates in Hip-Hop have had major meetings and been on tour with independent and major record labels. The one common denominator in these shows, meetings and spins are this: none of us are ASKING for support. What is support? My guy designed a shirt that says "SUPPORT GOOD LOCAL MUSIC".  What is support? Is it going to every open mic in the city where there are shows with rappers performing for other rappers and then once a rapper's set is over they leave? The rapper that leaves isn't supporting the other performers or are they? I believe the best way to test new music is to try an open mic or rehearse performing it and let people hear it. Is support not telling someone their ideas are horrible despite their grandiose visions of making it big? What's support? I personally go to a lot of shows my friends host and perform in. I even download their projects. I hardly EVER ask for that in return. Why? Because I can't guarantee I can make it. If I can make it then fine but there are some that feel they should get "support" because they're doing something. Music is entertainment. Entertainment when produced well and marketed effectively can do a lot of things. If your entertainment isn't as good as someone else that marketed effectively, is it someone else's fault because someone didn't like it or support it? If someone drops a dud of a single or doesn't get off their ass to send an email you told them to send to help their career, do you continue supporting them? No. You tell them they fucked up and if you feel you can/should/are able to help then that's up to you. I've been on film in videos as a role guy and been on stage for my friends' battles (The Movement That's Moving). Respect was earned because I chose to support good work and I'm loyal. Now I've had friends that have lost battles. I kept it loyal and honest when they've lost. I've had friends release projects or songs that didn't do what they hoped they would do. I can say this: I can go to any music venue for a show in St. Louis and see someone I know. Big whoop. I can get favors a lot of artists can't and I don't have a manager. Big whoop. I know people high up in the music industry but they respect me because I don't ask for those favors. Big Whoop. I guess I have their support by supporting them and not asking for it in return. When I see a post on my Facebook wall for someone's project I don't know (and I am responsible for who I pick as a Facebook friends, I know) I want to listen but what do they want? Feedback? A listen? SUPPORT? A hookup? I get DM'd and @ mentioned on Twitter a lot to hear new music. I've laid low but when I do more shows in and out of town, I imagine my social media contacts will quadruple. I can't support that. I've done huge shows and promoted on my wall and went out to the street to promote. I didn't ask for support. I was selling a show. Support is priceless. If people like it and you show them professionally, they'll support it. If you don't, well...they won't support it and that might be the reason why. Peace.

Ignorance Is A Bitch

"Niggas like to not know. Niggas don't read. Books are like Kryptonite to a nigga. Niggas love to be ignorant." - some shit Chris Rock said from Bring The Pain 1996.

My Twitter profile is @duckyhines and I joke a lot about music, rap and the rules of Twitter. The first rule of Twitter is everything you post is up for criticism. The second rule is don't react. Joking is one thing and I've done some fucked up shit in real life but some people think doing fucked up shit without risking consequences is okay. My parents didn't give me a lot of excuses to not fuck up. If I fucked something up even when I was a kid, it was my job to accept fucking up and then fix it after I endure the consequences. Some people's parents didn't teach them shit. I learned to read when I was four and was taught manners to survive as a responsible person in the real world. Nowadays people think they can do anything they want to anybody and have no circumstances. For example, I posted an opinion on a rap battle I saw on YouTube. I got some unflattering reactions on MY opinion. It didn't bother me but it made me think that if they said that in person I'd be ready to address it in a calm manner.Then again, some people don't say anything in person. They just do shit to do it without any kind of repercussion expected. I grew up in an era where people actually fought if there was a disagreement. Even in school if you had a problem with someone and someone spread hearsay, you HAD to see them or be labeled a punk. In this Facebooger and Twitter age where people are more concerned with their profile views, people are saying all kinds of wild shit for a reaction. Then in real life they're either timid or really oblivious to the fact that someone might just smack the shit out of them for crossing a serious line. They don't give a fuck and are too ignorant as to why they should give a fuck. It's ignorance. Just now I had what is known from The Boondocks as a "Nigger Moment". Am I proud of this? No, but I'm being honest. I go to the library to use the computer when I'm not near one at home (I plan on getting a MacBook Pro). I also check out books because I love to read and stay informed. Back to the Nigger Moment. I put my thumb drive into the computer and set my backpack down so I could get hand sanitizer. It's a public library. It just makes sense to me. I return to the computer and someone is trying to log in when my stuff is clearly there. The guy looked at me like something was wrong with me when I told him my stuff was at the computer because I was using it. This ignorant motherfucker says something like "You shouldn't have left your stuff there." Instantly I asked him to repeat it in a calm manner but my right fist was ready to Roy Jones him if he really wanted to be bout that life. This is the library! The fucking library! I told buddy he could go into the computer lab where there were quite a few available computers. Buddy said I should go in there. I asked him "Excuse me" and he walks away. When I was younger you had to be ready to fight. Even if you were going to get jumped, you had to fight. Running wasn't an option. You might get beat up or lose a fight but you had to be ready to defend yourself. Somewhere around when Boyz N The Hood came out drive-bys were suddenly en vogue and people started shooting when there used to just be fights. Now people shoot for the dumbest reasons...then video tape it as proof they're really as tough as they want the world to believe they are. I could go on about music that "celebrates" selling dope, shooting guns and misogamy but I'd be a hypocrite because I love N.W.A. It was "music" to them but a lot of uninformed people based their lives on what Ice Cube, Eazy (RIP), Ren and Dre depicted in these songs over twenty years ago. There's also a scene in one of my favorite movies Jay-Z's Fade To Black. Hov's conversing with an aspiring rapper that is complaining about people wanting to hear false crime tales and flossing in music. Hov and O.G. Juan are telling the kid to "be the fuck him" and make music from the heart. It's a line between feeding ignorance to a lot of the masses that are ignorant but also being enlightened and giving people intelligent art. People will consume ignorance in mass amounts (Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, McRib sandwiches) if you package it in an appealing manner. Hov even made a song about it that I love and not too many people are hip to this version. http://t.co/4dyDyJtf In this song Hov pokes fun at the masses that only want him to talk about jewelry, slanging coke and cars. It's a great double meaning. A lot of people are caught in generational cycles of not knowing shit. I have friends that have parents that never graduated high school after their parents never graduated high school and never held a full time job where people's lives depended on them. My dad was a branch manager for a huge insurance company and my mother retired as a case worker for the state. I got into trouble when I was younger because I hated listening to people, thought I was too smart to ever get caught, didn't care about getting locked up until I read mandatory sentences for selling crack and I wanted to get fresh. People that had lesser resources didn't have a choice. Others like myself had a choice and I made poor choices. I could've been caught so many times as a juvenile offender. To some people drugs, fast cars, partying, getting fresh, cares for nothing else outside of that realm and fast women with fat asses are a way of life. That's all they know. They're content with impregnating that hot broad with a fat ass and being a baby-daddy because that's all they see. Then they get mad when that hot broad with a fat ass hopefully becomes a responsible parent and meets a nice guy that wants to settle down with her. I know too many guys that think once that woman has their kid, that woman's vagina is 24/7 access for them. They're ignorant of meeting someone to marry and raise a family with in a safe and nurturing environment. Months ago I wrote about how The Westside of St. Louis looks the same as it did in the 1980s and how some people never leave. They feel it's "their hood". Gentrification proves a whole neighborhood doesn't belong to a group of friends on a certain block unless they go to city hall, purchase that real estate with a deed and pay property taxes on it. Somebody might read this and not know what the fuck GENTRIFICATION is. I try to educate in serious moments and be enlightened. I try to better myself. Not knowing certain things bother me so I read, ask questions and observe so I become knowledgeable. Some people don't care about being smart or having tact. They just want to do what they want to do with no worry of fulfilling their future. They'll consume any and everything in front of them like they don't have a choice. They're ignorant to healthy food, opportunities to come up in the world and a whole world beyond what they see everyday. Those that live in these indigenous environments are in a cycle they're unaware of. They just speak on things and react with no knowledge of what's really around them. Going back to my dad, there's a belief that people that had both parents were soft. There's a belief that people that speak with diction and pronounce words correctly are soft or not "real niggas". Well, I had O.G.s that put me on to so much game and principles that these so-called "real niggas" never learned. The O.G.s who were doing their thing out in the street accepted me for me, especially because I didn't act like the dumb ignorant cats around me that had no vision and couldn't think for themselves. They were used to reacting to situations instead of thinking their way through situations and preparing for the next one. Ignorance is a bitch. Life's a bitch if you let it be but you can tame a bitch. I don't mean a woman, I mean a bitch regardless of their genitalia. Ignorance will stop progress. I hate ignorance and cannot be around someone that is too ignorant to learn or see different aspects of life. The worst ignorant motherfuckers are the entitled ones. I wrote on this last month about "new rappers" thinking they should get an ice cream cone because they put a few words together. They're ignorant to politics of the industry, what to do, how to do it and when to do it. They're content with being ignorant until someone "discovers" them or "holds them back" in some elaborate conspiracy to stop them from "changing the game" or whatever the fuck that shit means. I don't have time to entertain that train of thought or even argue with them. I just wish them the best and keep it moving. My parents didn't want me to be ignorant and to this day I can't make excuses for anything. I just learn, move on and keep a positive frame of mind despite the ignorance of others. I pray for them. If I can't enlighten them I can at least pray for them. Trying to down someone for bettering themselves or have some kind of order in their lives is the most hoe-ass shit I've ever heard of. To some people ignorance is a way of life and they're happy with that. Get that line of thinking the fuck out of here. Be aware, y'all. Peace. - Moolah

Fuck Rap (with good reason)

Fuck rap and motherfuck most of these "rappers". If anyone is familiar with me, I'm a normal guy that makes Hip-Hop music and makes a few sheckles off it. I'm not going to wax poetically about the good ol' days or The Golden Era. Nope. Not gonna do it. I'm going to talk about why I listen to more deadmau5 than I listen to what people believe is rap. If anyone hasn't noticed, the WORLD is in a fucking recession. I can relate to big money rapping shit but for the most part, it has given broke motherfuckers a reason to lie in their raps. They're not making music from their hearts in most cases because they want to portray an image knowing they ain't bout that life to go out and actually get that shit they're rapping about. I haven't cursed a lot in my blogs lately but then again, I haven't blogged in two moths. I also don't believe in video blogging on YouTube unless I'm promoting a show or a product or are cracking jokes. That shit is time-consuming and people really only care about what you look like and what you're wearing. FUCK RAP. MOTHERFUCK most of these "rappers". A lot of these new "rappers" have no touch on the real world and the shit that goes on in it. Maybe they're not to blame for their own ignorance but then again, fuck 'em twice and three times on Sundays. Especially a lot of local WANT TO BE RAPPERS. My comrades who I know work hard at projects, shows, airplay, endorsements, publishing and promoting themselves are excluded from this group of douchebags I'm talking about. Niggas that put a legacy in St. Louis and have songs that rock the clubs and the airwaves here are not the subject of this post. I'm talking about those whining-ass, never did a real show and want to hop on a bandwagon niggas: FACEBOOK AND TWITTER RAPPERS AND THE DICK BLOWERS they idolize. In St. Louis there was an era from 1996-2006 where you HAD to rock the Hi-Pointe on Monday nights and Blueberry Hill on Friday nights.  When The Science at Blueberry Hill ended, most people hung at Halo at The Pageant. I was not serious about music at the time and I was a youngster anyway more concerned with buying sneakers and not getting caught on the North Side with a pistol. My friends and people I know the local music scene in real life were a part of that moreso than me. When I got serious about music, it was a bit after. Anyway, most of those people, even niggas that spit "gangster" or "street" shit had bars in those places. Real battles, unlimited shit and cyphers came out of those places. Also shouts out to the Red Sea (RIP) basement. Most of my friends in the local scene in St. Louis came out of those settings and proved their mettle there. Relationships that stand to this day were built before MySpace rappers, Twitter rappers and Facebook rappers. This is going to be a long post. Nelly broke through in 2000 followed by Chingy, Jibbs, J-Kwon, Huey, Chocolate Tai, Penelope Jones, Ebony Eyes, Potzee and a host of others that had major label situations. You know how all those people got those situations good, bad and otherwise? Dumb niggas gonna guess just money. Money helps but all of those artists had their own developed and individual talent whether or not you rocked with them. GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF ST. LOUIS BUT STILL REPRESENTING THE CRIB HELPED THEM GET EXPOSURE IN REAL SHOWCASES WITH MUSIC PRODUCED BY PROFESSIONALS. Nowadays in the Facebook and Twitter era, "rappers" interrupt your conversation about whatever to spam their link to their "smash hit". When I tweet some shit to someone I don't know like "Nigga, I am not your publicist" you've got to remember, this individual interrupted MY conversation with whomever. My friends' Facebook walls get hit all the time about "Check this out" and shit. If YOU ARE out making moves with your music then go on and post but there is a sect of people that never leave their house and just post links all day. They don't put money into their music to develop their sound or go out of town to see what else is going on. They have a belief just because they MAKE MUSIC that they should get the major shows in town and get accepted as royalty. This isn't just a problem in St. Louis but it's more of a common thing. I hear that "everybody raps in St. Louis". The thing is, are they good at it? Shouts to my homegirl Bell for her Mic Check Mondays event at Daddy's Money on Broadway. She built that up and it's a nice outlet for people to be heard. There are people here in St. Louis that don't utilize this outlet. Now one could also complain all local shows only contain other rappers in the crowd that will do what they will do: perform and leave. I'm not going to give all the game away but if that's all you're going to do, you're not a viable local entertainer. I also recently performed at SLUMFest (St. Louis Underground Music Festival) for the first time. I enjoyed it. However, leading up to the March registration EVERYONE that performed (aside from artists that actually put the event together) had to register with a five dollar fee and submission of two or three songs. Now most of these new "rappers" rap about being guapped out and swagging to the max or whatever the fuck these clowns talk about. They're the same cats trying to sell me a plain CD with marker writing on it when my CD is professionally mastered and packaged with my picture on it. Seriously. Now, after literally thousands of people registered there were thousands of omissions. People felt like there was a "backpacker" conspiracy against anyone that wasn't selected to perform. Most of these people have made no moves and built no relationships. They thought their poorly produced and mixed product would make the cut. A lot of these "rappers" grew up in an era where everyone got a trophy for participation. Dumb Fuck, the music industry doesn't work like that. You gotta have your shit together and guess what: it helps if you're talented. There was no "backpack" conspiracy. My homeboy T-Dubb-O who I know as a real individual and a top-notch emcee originally got left off. I was offering him part of my set. He said it's good. Lo and behold some spots were available and we campaigned like hell to get him on. He got on. During that whole time he NEVER complained about it. This is my homeboy in real life and he wanted me to cook. On the opposite spectrum there was a lot of bitching from people that didn't make it. They whined and bitched like nobody's putting on for St. Louis and such. There were a couple of questions to be asked of these individuals: Is your stage show dope? Do deejays know you? Are you really building your name up in the scene one way or another?... In most cases those answers were fuck no. In days where mugs had to carry crates of records and plug in equipment to a light pole there was none of this bitch-ass whining. You had to go out and get it. Now mufuckas feel obligated to get on because they rap. Nobody gives a fuck that you rap. You can make them give a fuck by putting in work and investing in yourself instead of camping out for sneakers and buying European belts for an image or your personal swag. Then there are the rappers that are "on" that have people believe there is no recession. People listen to these people and this is not to blame the rappers but a lot of fans are stupid. They can't decipher reality from the rap world. I've seen the industry for myself on so many occasions. Let me just say your money has to be right and/or be VERY CONNECTED to get in. That is the nature of business in the world so why should it be any different in the "rap game"? You don't have money to shoot a video? Nobody gives a fuck. You don't have money to press real professional CDs? Nobody gives a fuck. You don't have money to promote your work in the street or in publications? Nobody gives a fuck. You don't know how to perform without your original verses on the song instead of having a show mix with hooks and ad libs or just the instrumental by it self? You're a clown ass rapper, not an emcee. On top of that, mugs just want to rap to get "on" but have done no research on the business. They bitch and whine. The big dogs say this is not a business for sensitive niggas. Well, there are a lot of sensitive rappers that can't take criticism and think they can compete with a local artist that put in work and built their name up. Dumb Fuck, your target can't be the local guy. You got to make music to the quality of the big dogs and invest in yourself. How does one do that? Well, I'm not your publicist or your manager but you can learn and pay your dues so you can figure it out. Also, one more thing: people get hung up on lists and think people are hating on them. In most cases these paranoid people aren't known enough to be hated. They come back to the conspiracy theories. One of my other homeys in real life Tef Poe homeboy made a list of Top 50 St. Louis Hip-Hop artists people should know. Personal relationship aside (we grew up together): I was on that list. I had no idea about that list until he told me about it. I was like "cool". However, in a city of literally thousands of "rappers" people felt left off and that there was biased opinions. I can't completely speak for my brother but I'll keep it as funky as I can: THERE WERE PEOPLE ON THAT LIST THAT DO NOT FUCK WITH HIM AND HE WAS G ENOUGH TO PUT THEM ON THE LIST ANYWAY. Why did he put them on the list? The greater goal is to shed light on the scene here in St. Louis but again when he could've talked about his project that came out the same day War Machine 2, that's not good enough for a lot of people. So from ME: fuck rappers. Seriously. I fuck with real individuals that make great music but I don't fuck with rappers that ain't bout it. If it's not anything I can feel or rock with in real life, fuck it and that's how I feel about these "rappers". When you see people riding around Collins Ave in Miami in Lambos and you're rubbing elbows with big wigs, it puts a lot of things in perspective. I figured out the game. I'm not going to share it all but if you fuck with me in real life, I will share it with you. If you don't then just keep rapping and not working on building yourself up as a marketable artist. The industry does not give a fuck about you until they can make money off you. If you can't make money off you then how can anyone else? That's what it's about but you gotta earn your stripes first and foremost. Until you do, fuck you if you're a "rapper". Oh, and my listening to deadmau5...he's not making records about $300 jeans and sipping champagne he can't really afford or selling more dope than The Black Widow. Plus, hot girls like club music but you didn't hear that from me. I say peace - Moolah.

Nice Guys Just Finish

"P***y can smell other p***y. That's why you gotta pounce on it when the time comes" - Johnny Drama, Entourage Season Six Opener
"You ain't no pimp. You just a rest haven for heauxs" - some fly shit that nigga said to Goldie in The Mack.
I am a single man again. Have been since September. My ex girlfriend recently hit me up saying she heard my name on the radio about a show I had last month. No shit. The whole St. Louis heard that spot and I kilt that show. I talked to my ex for a while and she said she wasn't ready for a relationship at the time. I told her I already knew that. She said she was scared to tell me because she didn't want to hurt me. In my head I'm like, "Bitch, I'm grown. What the fuck are you talking about?" I simply asked how she figured that. She said I am a nice guy but she didn't want to be harsh. The thing is, she was fucking up and I wanted to be a grown up last summer and tell her WHY we needed to break up. She wasn't bout that confrontation life with being a grown up so she stalled around like I was going to forget. In reality she missed the way I used to beat her box. I am a nice guy but I have fucked a lot of wives and girlfriends in my day SO if it is that easy for me to fuck OPP, how could she think something so silly in her rabbit ass mind. I told her I want the box because she misses my penis. Women lie. They are vunerable and are afraid of being taken advantage of so they lie about what they want and what they're thinking sometimes to pacify men. Men do it too but we are so full of shit that it is apparent unless we are skilled in the gift of gab. Another woman that I know I talked to was concerned I liked her more than she liked me. I never told her I wanted to be with er exclusively but she assumed because I wanted to get to know her that I was hounding for a relationship. No. Bitch. I simply wanted to see if we are compatible to hang out and be in each other's company but she is used to guys chasing her so I was turned off by her arrogance. She told me she was going out with someone and asked if I was upset. What the fuck would I be upset about? I was fucking somebody else because I'm single. Here is the thing some women need to understand: not all nice guys are suckers. Some of us get a lot of box and attract a lot of women because we are actually good guys. If a good girl can have casual sex and still be a lady then a good guy can have casual sex with a woman and treat her with respect. AND most good guys keep getting available box because we know how to not be sloppy about it and keep our mouths shut. Ladies, If you're interested in a nice guy you need to be honest, open-minded and ready to smash. I am not saying be a heaux but if you are a heaux, be an honest heaux because that nice guy will smash, leave you for a good girl and forget about you. Women that have options to fuck who they want should fuck who they want and be honest about it. Just do not assume that nice guy is going to care or react to it because he has available box to tend to. I passed up box being faithful but what happened as soon as I became single. That available box called me and I tended to it. If you have someone you want to be with and they're worth keeping then you need do what needs to be done to keep them. Otherwise, some nice person will come along and finish the job you could not finish. There will be some women that I know in real life that will read this and want to kill me because I am right. Some of them I have had relations with that may ask themselves if I am talking about THEM. Well, if I have attempted to see you and you know I want to spend time with you, know that somebody else is getting my time that I could have spent with you. Do not get nice fucked up for desparate or clingy. If I stopped calling, maybe this nice guy decided it wasn't worth my time when someone that appreciates being treated nicely gets my time. Also just because a nice guy says he wants to see you or spend time, he is not always just trying to smash or trying to automatically wife you. There is a medium called dating and hanging out that will let this nice guy determine whether or not you are worth his time. I would take a heaux and chill with her (but never to wife her) than an indecisive, insecure and ingenuine nice girl. You can't be nice and be unstable. You should be a nice girl with your shit together emotionally. At least a heaux knows her place and nice guys deep down like fucking heauxs too. Heauxs like nice guys too so we fuck them. Sometimes they have the best box, especially ratchet heauxs. So, LADIES, if you are nice with your shit together you better say something before that nice guy has you missing him...and his penis. Swaggy Swaggin' - Moolah

The West Side Time Warp

Today I rode the bus from Southtown where I live to The West, the part of St. Louis City that most people are ignorant of. See, the area from directly East of Skinker, West of Kingshighway, south of Natural Bridge and North of Delmar is where I am from. I was supposed to go to Laclede Elementary but my mother decided to enroll me into a county school. I could never ride my Big Wheel or bike past Hamilton. I played Court Ball at Barrett Bros Park. I bought penny candy from the corner store when my mom allowed me to. Dellwood is a huge part of my life but The West is my home. It is where I learned how to fight, compete and talk shit. Because I speak very properly, kids always thought I was from West County but they would be surprised to see me in the city. Even in the summer when I was older I preferred to be in the city. I live in the city now but not where I grew up. The part of the city I grew up in looks the same from the 1980s. A lot of the same vacant houses then and barren lots are in a time warp. Fashion and music changed but a lot of the same corner stores are still there. Mr B's (Price Chopper) burned down. That shit hurt. Goodfellow Place finally got fenced in one side because it was hot and Goody-Goody is still packed on the weekends. I walked around looking around today and there are new houses on Belt, Minerva, St. Louis Ave, Etzel and Plymouth but most of it looks the same. My mom does not go back at all. I do not blame her. My family is gone and I have not seen my friends in forever. I love my old neighborhood but it still looks the same and depresses me when I drive through. There are no amenities there. The groceries are high. There hardly is any produce. There are barely any restaurants unless you count carryout or one or two lounges that serve food. You can buy chicken wings and tripe sandwiches in the hood but nothing healthy. The streets, lots, alleys and old properties are littered with trash and barely there. It looks the same as when my mom had that Jheri Curl and drove a Camaro (swag my mom's IROC Camaro the fuck out). It is crazy to me but I understand. Young grandmothers walk with their grand-babies and cats complain about their baby mamas and baby daddies. It is worse than when I was a kid. At least I had uncles and aunties on Highland to watch my whereabouts. Kids don't even play outside like I was allowed to. I pray for my home. I understand more about myself whenever I am there. Praise God.

Two Months And Some Days

I haven't blogged in two months. Wow. So a lot of things have changed for the better. There were a few hiccups like the car accident I was in last week but things happen. I am ok but The Impala needs some body work. Glad I own that car and am looking to buy a second car to go along with it. My ex called me on New Years while I was drinking champagne and partying singing about yellow diamonds in the light. She doesn't read my blogs and if she does I would still treat her like an ex. I don't want anything from her. I have had a few shows and changed money making opportunities so in all I feel wonderful and blessed. I have consistently gone to church for five months and church makes me happy. Another ex of mine is pregnant by a douche after she told me she couldn't get pregnant without being injected. God bless her. My perspective on women is a lot different than it was a year ago. A year ago I broke up with my ex when she wanted to be friends with benefits or in her mind want me to treat her like a girlfriend but act single by having her cake and eating it too. It was then I had to leave her alone. I haven't talked to her in months. I see things more clearly than I ever did because I am not in haste to do things. I am aware of what I want out of life and what I have to do to get there. I am at peace with my religion and really don't owe anyone explanations to my life. Some people have an idea of me without directly asking me what they want to know. It is the strangest thing in the world to me. Wouldn't you just want to ask someone a question instead of speculating about something? Uncomfortable situations are a part of life but some of us deal with them better than others. I have had shows and even recorded new material. My outlook on social media is a little different too. Nobody wants to see tweets or Facebook updates all the time about music unless they see you actually doing it. I know people are working so I work too and the results will be what they may. I am less cynical and more optimistic, even more engaging for an engaging people person. I just want to be a good friend and family member that is productive and great at accomplishing things. It's really that simple. Thanks. Praise God. - Moolah