Fuck Rap (with good reason)

Fuck rap and motherfuck most of these "rappers". If anyone is familiar with me, I'm a normal guy that makes Hip-Hop music and makes a few sheckles off it. I'm not going to wax poetically about the good ol' days or The Golden Era. Nope. Not gonna do it. I'm going to talk about why I listen to more deadmau5 than I listen to what people believe is rap. If anyone hasn't noticed, the WORLD is in a fucking recession. I can relate to big money rapping shit but for the most part, it has given broke motherfuckers a reason to lie in their raps. They're not making music from their hearts in most cases because they want to portray an image knowing they ain't bout that life to go out and actually get that shit they're rapping about. I haven't cursed a lot in my blogs lately but then again, I haven't blogged in two moths. I also don't believe in video blogging on YouTube unless I'm promoting a show or a product or are cracking jokes. That shit is time-consuming and people really only care about what you look like and what you're wearing. FUCK RAP. MOTHERFUCK most of these "rappers". A lot of these new "rappers" have no touch on the real world and the shit that goes on in it. Maybe they're not to blame for their own ignorance but then again, fuck 'em twice and three times on Sundays. Especially a lot of local WANT TO BE RAPPERS. My comrades who I know work hard at projects, shows, airplay, endorsements, publishing and promoting themselves are excluded from this group of douchebags I'm talking about. Niggas that put a legacy in St. Louis and have songs that rock the clubs and the airwaves here are not the subject of this post. I'm talking about those whining-ass, never did a real show and want to hop on a bandwagon niggas: FACEBOOK AND TWITTER RAPPERS AND THE DICK BLOWERS they idolize. In St. Louis there was an era from 1996-2006 where you HAD to rock the Hi-Pointe on Monday nights and Blueberry Hill on Friday nights.  When The Science at Blueberry Hill ended, most people hung at Halo at The Pageant. I was not serious about music at the time and I was a youngster anyway more concerned with buying sneakers and not getting caught on the North Side with a pistol. My friends and people I know the local music scene in real life were a part of that moreso than me. When I got serious about music, it was a bit after. Anyway, most of those people, even niggas that spit "gangster" or "street" shit had bars in those places. Real battles, unlimited shit and cyphers came out of those places. Also shouts out to the Red Sea (RIP) basement. Most of my friends in the local scene in St. Louis came out of those settings and proved their mettle there. Relationships that stand to this day were built before MySpace rappers, Twitter rappers and Facebook rappers. This is going to be a long post. Nelly broke through in 2000 followed by Chingy, Jibbs, J-Kwon, Huey, Chocolate Tai, Penelope Jones, Ebony Eyes, Potzee and a host of others that had major label situations. You know how all those people got those situations good, bad and otherwise? Dumb niggas gonna guess just money. Money helps but all of those artists had their own developed and individual talent whether or not you rocked with them. GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF ST. LOUIS BUT STILL REPRESENTING THE CRIB HELPED THEM GET EXPOSURE IN REAL SHOWCASES WITH MUSIC PRODUCED BY PROFESSIONALS. Nowadays in the Facebook and Twitter era, "rappers" interrupt your conversation about whatever to spam their link to their "smash hit". When I tweet some shit to someone I don't know like "Nigga, I am not your publicist" you've got to remember, this individual interrupted MY conversation with whomever. My friends' Facebook walls get hit all the time about "Check this out" and shit. If YOU ARE out making moves with your music then go on and post but there is a sect of people that never leave their house and just post links all day. They don't put money into their music to develop their sound or go out of town to see what else is going on. They have a belief just because they MAKE MUSIC that they should get the major shows in town and get accepted as royalty. This isn't just a problem in St. Louis but it's more of a common thing. I hear that "everybody raps in St. Louis". The thing is, are they good at it? Shouts to my homegirl Bell for her Mic Check Mondays event at Daddy's Money on Broadway. She built that up and it's a nice outlet for people to be heard. There are people here in St. Louis that don't utilize this outlet. Now one could also complain all local shows only contain other rappers in the crowd that will do what they will do: perform and leave. I'm not going to give all the game away but if that's all you're going to do, you're not a viable local entertainer. I also recently performed at SLUMFest (St. Louis Underground Music Festival) for the first time. I enjoyed it. However, leading up to the March registration EVERYONE that performed (aside from artists that actually put the event together) had to register with a five dollar fee and submission of two or three songs. Now most of these new "rappers" rap about being guapped out and swagging to the max or whatever the fuck these clowns talk about. They're the same cats trying to sell me a plain CD with marker writing on it when my CD is professionally mastered and packaged with my picture on it. Seriously. Now, after literally thousands of people registered there were thousands of omissions. People felt like there was a "backpacker" conspiracy against anyone that wasn't selected to perform. Most of these people have made no moves and built no relationships. They thought their poorly produced and mixed product would make the cut. A lot of these "rappers" grew up in an era where everyone got a trophy for participation. Dumb Fuck, the music industry doesn't work like that. You gotta have your shit together and guess what: it helps if you're talented. There was no "backpack" conspiracy. My homeboy T-Dubb-O who I know as a real individual and a top-notch emcee originally got left off. I was offering him part of my set. He said it's good. Lo and behold some spots were available and we campaigned like hell to get him on. He got on. During that whole time he NEVER complained about it. This is my homeboy in real life and he wanted me to cook. On the opposite spectrum there was a lot of bitching from people that didn't make it. They whined and bitched like nobody's putting on for St. Louis and such. There were a couple of questions to be asked of these individuals: Is your stage show dope? Do deejays know you? Are you really building your name up in the scene one way or another?... In most cases those answers were fuck no. In days where mugs had to carry crates of records and plug in equipment to a light pole there was none of this bitch-ass whining. You had to go out and get it. Now mufuckas feel obligated to get on because they rap. Nobody gives a fuck that you rap. You can make them give a fuck by putting in work and investing in yourself instead of camping out for sneakers and buying European belts for an image or your personal swag. Then there are the rappers that are "on" that have people believe there is no recession. People listen to these people and this is not to blame the rappers but a lot of fans are stupid. They can't decipher reality from the rap world. I've seen the industry for myself on so many occasions. Let me just say your money has to be right and/or be VERY CONNECTED to get in. That is the nature of business in the world so why should it be any different in the "rap game"? You don't have money to shoot a video? Nobody gives a fuck. You don't have money to press real professional CDs? Nobody gives a fuck. You don't have money to promote your work in the street or in publications? Nobody gives a fuck. You don't know how to perform without your original verses on the song instead of having a show mix with hooks and ad libs or just the instrumental by it self? You're a clown ass rapper, not an emcee. On top of that, mugs just want to rap to get "on" but have done no research on the business. They bitch and whine. The big dogs say this is not a business for sensitive niggas. Well, there are a lot of sensitive rappers that can't take criticism and think they can compete with a local artist that put in work and built their name up. Dumb Fuck, your target can't be the local guy. You got to make music to the quality of the big dogs and invest in yourself. How does one do that? Well, I'm not your publicist or your manager but you can learn and pay your dues so you can figure it out. Also, one more thing: people get hung up on lists and think people are hating on them. In most cases these paranoid people aren't known enough to be hated. They come back to the conspiracy theories. One of my other homeys in real life Tef Poe homeboy made a list of Top 50 St. Louis Hip-Hop artists people should know. Personal relationship aside (we grew up together): I was on that list. I had no idea about that list until he told me about it. I was like "cool". However, in a city of literally thousands of "rappers" people felt left off and that there was biased opinions. I can't completely speak for my brother but I'll keep it as funky as I can: THERE WERE PEOPLE ON THAT LIST THAT DO NOT FUCK WITH HIM AND HE WAS G ENOUGH TO PUT THEM ON THE LIST ANYWAY. Why did he put them on the list? The greater goal is to shed light on the scene here in St. Louis but again when he could've talked about his project that came out the same day War Machine 2, that's not good enough for a lot of people. So from ME: fuck rappers. Seriously. I fuck with real individuals that make great music but I don't fuck with rappers that ain't bout it. If it's not anything I can feel or rock with in real life, fuck it and that's how I feel about these "rappers". When you see people riding around Collins Ave in Miami in Lambos and you're rubbing elbows with big wigs, it puts a lot of things in perspective. I figured out the game. I'm not going to share it all but if you fuck with me in real life, I will share it with you. If you don't then just keep rapping and not working on building yourself up as a marketable artist. The industry does not give a fuck about you until they can make money off you. If you can't make money off you then how can anyone else? That's what it's about but you gotta earn your stripes first and foremost. Until you do, fuck you if you're a "rapper". Oh, and my listening to deadmau5...he's not making records about $300 jeans and sipping champagne he can't really afford or selling more dope than The Black Widow. Plus, hot girls like club music but you didn't hear that from me. I say peace - Moolah.

Nice Guys Just Finish

"P***y can smell other p***y. That's why you gotta pounce on it when the time comes" - Johnny Drama, Entourage Season Six Opener
"You ain't no pimp. You just a rest haven for heauxs" - some fly shit that nigga said to Goldie in The Mack.
I am a single man again. Have been since September. My ex girlfriend recently hit me up saying she heard my name on the radio about a show I had last month. No shit. The whole St. Louis heard that spot and I kilt that show. I talked to my ex for a while and she said she wasn't ready for a relationship at the time. I told her I already knew that. She said she was scared to tell me because she didn't want to hurt me. In my head I'm like, "Bitch, I'm grown. What the fuck are you talking about?" I simply asked how she figured that. She said I am a nice guy but she didn't want to be harsh. The thing is, she was fucking up and I wanted to be a grown up last summer and tell her WHY we needed to break up. She wasn't bout that confrontation life with being a grown up so she stalled around like I was going to forget. In reality she missed the way I used to beat her box. I am a nice guy but I have fucked a lot of wives and girlfriends in my day SO if it is that easy for me to fuck OPP, how could she think something so silly in her rabbit ass mind. I told her I want the box because she misses my penis. Women lie. They are vunerable and are afraid of being taken advantage of so they lie about what they want and what they're thinking sometimes to pacify men. Men do it too but we are so full of shit that it is apparent unless we are skilled in the gift of gab. Another woman that I know I talked to was concerned I liked her more than she liked me. I never told her I wanted to be with er exclusively but she assumed because I wanted to get to know her that I was hounding for a relationship. No. Bitch. I simply wanted to see if we are compatible to hang out and be in each other's company but she is used to guys chasing her so I was turned off by her arrogance. She told me she was going out with someone and asked if I was upset. What the fuck would I be upset about? I was fucking somebody else because I'm single. Here is the thing some women need to understand: not all nice guys are suckers. Some of us get a lot of box and attract a lot of women because we are actually good guys. If a good girl can have casual sex and still be a lady then a good guy can have casual sex with a woman and treat her with respect. AND most good guys keep getting available box because we know how to not be sloppy about it and keep our mouths shut. Ladies, If you're interested in a nice guy you need to be honest, open-minded and ready to smash. I am not saying be a heaux but if you are a heaux, be an honest heaux because that nice guy will smash, leave you for a good girl and forget about you. Women that have options to fuck who they want should fuck who they want and be honest about it. Just do not assume that nice guy is going to care or react to it because he has available box to tend to. I passed up box being faithful but what happened as soon as I became single. That available box called me and I tended to it. If you have someone you want to be with and they're worth keeping then you need do what needs to be done to keep them. Otherwise, some nice person will come along and finish the job you could not finish. There will be some women that I know in real life that will read this and want to kill me because I am right. Some of them I have had relations with that may ask themselves if I am talking about THEM. Well, if I have attempted to see you and you know I want to spend time with you, know that somebody else is getting my time that I could have spent with you. Do not get nice fucked up for desparate or clingy. If I stopped calling, maybe this nice guy decided it wasn't worth my time when someone that appreciates being treated nicely gets my time. Also just because a nice guy says he wants to see you or spend time, he is not always just trying to smash or trying to automatically wife you. There is a medium called dating and hanging out that will let this nice guy determine whether or not you are worth his time. I would take a heaux and chill with her (but never to wife her) than an indecisive, insecure and ingenuine nice girl. You can't be nice and be unstable. You should be a nice girl with your shit together emotionally. At least a heaux knows her place and nice guys deep down like fucking heauxs too. Heauxs like nice guys too so we fuck them. Sometimes they have the best box, especially ratchet heauxs. So, LADIES, if you are nice with your shit together you better say something before that nice guy has you missing him...and his penis. Swaggy Swaggin' - Moolah

The West Side Time Warp

Today I rode the bus from Southtown where I live to The West, the part of St. Louis City that most people are ignorant of. See, the area from directly East of Skinker, West of Kingshighway, south of Natural Bridge and North of Delmar is where I am from. I was supposed to go to Laclede Elementary but my mother decided to enroll me into a county school. I could never ride my Big Wheel or bike past Hamilton. I played Court Ball at Barrett Bros Park. I bought penny candy from the corner store when my mom allowed me to. Dellwood is a huge part of my life but The West is my home. It is where I learned how to fight, compete and talk shit. Because I speak very properly, kids always thought I was from West County but they would be surprised to see me in the city. Even in the summer when I was older I preferred to be in the city. I live in the city now but not where I grew up. The part of the city I grew up in looks the same from the 1980s. A lot of the same vacant houses then and barren lots are in a time warp. Fashion and music changed but a lot of the same corner stores are still there. Mr B's (Price Chopper) burned down. That shit hurt. Goodfellow Place finally got fenced in one side because it was hot and Goody-Goody is still packed on the weekends. I walked around looking around today and there are new houses on Belt, Minerva, St. Louis Ave, Etzel and Plymouth but most of it looks the same. My mom does not go back at all. I do not blame her. My family is gone and I have not seen my friends in forever. I love my old neighborhood but it still looks the same and depresses me when I drive through. There are no amenities there. The groceries are high. There hardly is any produce. There are barely any restaurants unless you count carryout or one or two lounges that serve food. You can buy chicken wings and tripe sandwiches in the hood but nothing healthy. The streets, lots, alleys and old properties are littered with trash and barely there. It looks the same as when my mom had that Jheri Curl and drove a Camaro (swag my mom's IROC Camaro the fuck out). It is crazy to me but I understand. Young grandmothers walk with their grand-babies and cats complain about their baby mamas and baby daddies. It is worse than when I was a kid. At least I had uncles and aunties on Highland to watch my whereabouts. Kids don't even play outside like I was allowed to. I pray for my home. I understand more about myself whenever I am there. Praise God.

Two Months And Some Days

I haven't blogged in two months. Wow. So a lot of things have changed for the better. There were a few hiccups like the car accident I was in last week but things happen. I am ok but The Impala needs some body work. Glad I own that car and am looking to buy a second car to go along with it. My ex called me on New Years while I was drinking champagne and partying singing about yellow diamonds in the light. She doesn't read my blogs and if she does I would still treat her like an ex. I don't want anything from her. I have had a few shows and changed money making opportunities so in all I feel wonderful and blessed. I have consistently gone to church for five months and church makes me happy. Another ex of mine is pregnant by a douche after she told me she couldn't get pregnant without being injected. God bless her. My perspective on women is a lot different than it was a year ago. A year ago I broke up with my ex when she wanted to be friends with benefits or in her mind want me to treat her like a girlfriend but act single by having her cake and eating it too. It was then I had to leave her alone. I haven't talked to her in months. I see things more clearly than I ever did because I am not in haste to do things. I am aware of what I want out of life and what I have to do to get there. I am at peace with my religion and really don't owe anyone explanations to my life. Some people have an idea of me without directly asking me what they want to know. It is the strangest thing in the world to me. Wouldn't you just want to ask someone a question instead of speculating about something? Uncomfortable situations are a part of life but some of us deal with them better than others. I have had shows and even recorded new material. My outlook on social media is a little different too. Nobody wants to see tweets or Facebook updates all the time about music unless they see you actually doing it. I know people are working so I work too and the results will be what they may. I am less cynical and more optimistic, even more engaging for an engaging people person. I just want to be a good friend and family member that is productive and great at accomplishing things. It's really that simple. Thanks. Praise God. - Moolah

All About The Rings

This has nothing to do with sports. I went out Friday night with a group of friends I've known for years. The main culprit, my homeboy got married for the second time three weeks ago. This wife is great, almost perfect. He's a good guy and has a daughter from a previous marriage. His ex-wife is a piece of work with skewed priorities. His life was miserable with her. Dude never had a problem meeting women so when he got married to this woman it was an afterthought. The divorce was a motherfucker. My Godbrother is barely thirty and happily married with four kids ten years in. He's a great father and his wife is supportive. So, what got me on this? People believe you're supposed to do certain things between 25 and 30 like get married, buy a house and have a career instead of a job. Look, that ideal life shit changed September 2008 when the economy went straight to the sewer. Now it's about maintaining if you aren't thriving so thank God my life doesn't suck. However, I am single again. My previous posts explain why I broke up with my most recent exes. I plan to record a song about that shit and never bring it up again. I want to be married with children but I have come across some strange women. Seriously, they're strange. I had a show in Lawrence, Kansas I missed due to a frame rod splitting under my car. By the time we finished fixing it, it was too late to make the show. I went out instead. I danced with a married woman all night that danced like she wasn't married. It was crazy because a guy was doing his damndest to buy her and her friends drinks all night. I grabbed a beer and struck up another conversation with an attractive woman that had been looking at me. Me being me I chatted her up. In conversation she said she was married to a nice guy nine years older than her that wanted her to stay in the house all the time. She was NOT wearing a ring. What the fuck?!? Then she said she wasn't looking for any dick because she didn't want to cheat but she was free to sleep with women. Again, what the fuck?!? A couple years ago I would've convinced her she needed my penis in her life but I was cool. I went back to dance with the other married chick's much hotter friend. As I left I thought to myself how messed up some people get when they're marriedm SOME people. Married men that cheat think they can do so as long as they take care of the house. In most cases those same guys would pitch a bitch if their wives cheated on them. You can't justify cheating when you're unhappy. Get divorced or work it out. Some women just want to be married to have a ceremony and they don't give a fuck about the actual marriage. I have another homeboy like that with a worrisome fiancee but the nigga probably marrying her for money. Then there's the ex that sand bagged she was separated from her husband months into our relationship. There's the female friend that sand-bagged her engagement and half-ass remained in an unhappy relationship. She says she ended but I really don't care. I want one woman and over time if it works out that way, I want to marry her. My outlook on things have changed but one thing still remains: I will not marry just anyone and I have my pick. - Moolah

Why I Believe

My last few posts have been about the evils of Cuffing Season. Please refer to them if you want me to elaborate on the myth that is Cuffing Season. I'm motivated to blog about something much more important tonight. Yes, I have music on the way but instead of just tweeting and faceboogering about it like I'm an idiot rapper that never does anything in real life with my music, I'm just going to record it, master it and work it with a plan I've developed. I also have shows on the way to but this isn't about that. Recently I've read posts from friends and people I know that are going through trying times, some trivial and some very serious. A couple months ago I was hit with losing income. I put a plan together and stayed afloat. Some people rap/tweet/facebooger about making things happen. Some of us do it because we're wired that way. I beat myself up over losing that money but at the same time, I wasn't happy with that source of income. It was legal but borderline depressing dealing with the legal/civil issues of others in a toxic environment. So I prayed as I always do that things will work out. Prayer alone is a nice start but God puts us in position to take advantage of his blessings. For two months despite my ex-girlfriend saying she would've crawled into a hole had it happened to her, I found income, handled business, did shows, recorded and kept praying. Were there setbacks? Minor ones like my tire exploding or finding creative ways to make beefaroni and soup. I know there are people much worse off than me so I plugged away knowing I'd succeed and that God was making a way for me. I know my spirit. Of course I hear that voice of doubt in my head and I have reasoning like any thinking adult should BUT my confidence in myself doesn't allow me to crawl into a hole and quit. That's one of the reasons I left the ex. She ain't bout that life. What I mean is, I'm going to succeed one way or another because God didn't give me tools and talent so I can just quit when things aren't ideal. I joke about being bout that life because I really am bout that life. I drove alone to Miami to promote two projects, one TNL and the other Loud & Clear at the Core DJs Retreat because I felt I HAD TO. I prayed driving through the Deep South alone with a plan to succeed. I made it to Miami and handled business. I had the confidence and my faith in God to do what I felt compelled to do. Do I want extra credit for that? No, I don't. There were times driving back I felt like an idiot for not flying but I drove to and from Miami with no problem. I kept my faith in God. I always do. When my friends say FML, I pray for them to realize God didn't let Jesus shed his blood for that. I don't beat people over the head with my religion because that's unfair to them. I just pray for them. Some people think life is supposed to be easy. Jesus didn't have it easy to sacrifice for us. Get it? Now, if you're familiar with my music or my tweets, you may be confused if you don't know me as a person. My tweets are gutter humor a lot of times but I know God has me. It's funny and people laugh at the crude truths I point out on Twitter (@duckyhines by the way). My music, TNL lastly had a lot of cheating girlfriends being my side piece, street references and bragging. Well, I have had my way with other people's women in my PAST. I kinda gave that up as a new year's resolution. The guns? I shot my first gun at 15 when I carried around my brother's Desert Eagle. True story. He didn't figure out rounds were missing until we were grown. Selling dope? I first cooked and sold crack along with powder coke when I was 12. So, before I was old enough to legally drive I was living what some of these sucker rappers talk aboutm I digress. I've coached children in basketball. I help people. I like to make people laugh and dance. I am a work in progress. I have faith I'll improve as a person but I always praise God because everything starts with Him. Why not go to church and share The Lord's teachings? I enjoy it and it makes me happy. When things get tough, always remember God wants you to endure. Jesus didn't die on Earth for nothing. His blood is for our sins and our lives. I remind myself of this a lot. Thanks. - Moolah.

Cuffing vs Relationships (The Cuffing Season Blog Part III)

I love my ex-girlfriend but I never again want to fuck with her in real life. She didn't do anything malicious but I can't fuck with her in real life. Almost every woman I've met since becoming some kind of adult says they want a nice guy. A lot of guys, selfish douchebags if you ask me want a good girl but want to do what they want. Now, if I've already ruffled some feathers then good. Look at yourselves in the mirror and don't blame me for calling you a douche. I'm a good guy. Women have told me so. I'm respectful, positive, gentlemanly, courteous and chivalrous. These are attributes expected of me and instilled in me. At the same time, I'm not a pushover. In a common sense world, when a woman knows a good guy likes her then she should be responsive to hearing that good guy out. I had two-psuedo girlfriends that I saw a lot of and wanted to be with but they had their representatives out. What I mean by representative is the person you want your mate to see instead of who you are. I'm me. I'm nice but I have a toilet sense of humor and I stay me at all times. Some people only act like they have tact, sense and understanding. My most recent ex girlfriend never opened her mouth about what bothered her except once. I look back on it and despite me being a good guy that would treat her well and how do I say...keep her wanting more, she never said anything bothered her. Then we grew distant while I had outside endeavors offered to me DAILY. I didn't cheat. I'm not bitter but I have no desire to deal with people that I can't trust. I think she liked being cuffed. When it got serious, she freaked out and didn't want to hold up her end of the bargain or disappoint me as a girlfriend. I wish she would've said as much but sometimes women say one thing and do another. Women do it and people say they have "issues". Men do it and we ain't shit. It's a mixed up double standard but as long as that is understood, you gotta charge it to the game. My last psuedo-girlfriend wanted to have girlfriend treatment but didn't want girlfriend responsibilities. AND she was selfish. She's 37 and acts like a brat if she doesn't get her way. I've had other women that wanted too much and offered nothing. They wanted me to cuff them on their terms. Cuffing is the devil. If you fate, have rules. Cuffing is so vague and shallow. Last night I went out and this young lady that I see sporadically had to babysit her friend who was being cuffed all night. Now, let that been the other way around and I was being cuffed...my night would've been over way early with her. The friend would've wanted to go home. I cannot stand selfish people. Cuffing is selfish. Dating is grown-up. Having a fuck-buddy is convenient but as long as there's an understanding, I can respect that. Cuffing is like being restricted with no understanding whatsoever. I want to date women I like, not cuff them or be cuffed. Hanging out is one thing. Cuffing makes me sick. I've always wondered why SOME women can't say what they want, what they're willing to do in return and then stand by it. Instead they get cuffed because it's easy. I'll tell a woman exactly what I want from her in a polite manner. If it doesn't get through then I'm done. I know women that are married, engaged and with men they don't love or like for real because they like being cuffed. It's pomp and circumstance. To close, my homeboy I've known since we were little is re-marrying in a couple weeks. His fiancee is great. They weren't cuffing. They dated like adults and are truly happy. I want that. Cuffing doesn't make me happy. Get cuffing all the way the fuck outta here. Being single is fun but there's nothing like a loving supportive relationship. I know. I've had my fair share of married, engaged and involved women that enjoyed my time with them. That's not my life anymore. I'm chillin. Moolah.